If They Can Land a Man on the Moon, Surely I Can Win Your Heart

Dear Daily Swarm,

You should hire me because I’ve been reading about music obsessively since I was a junior in high school. Or because I used to intern in the offices of the Empty Bottle in Chicago. Or because I love the Wrens to an embarrassing degree. You should hire me because I stayed in the boring town in Western Massachusetts where I went to college for a extra year after graduation because I was working my dream job at the local record store. You should hire me because I almost got fired. Or because my senior thesis project was on ‘Community Based Arts Spaces that put on All Ages Concerts and Their Role in Local Music Communities.’ This lead to a brief career booking at one of the venues I studied, the temporarily defunct Flywheel Collective, where I can recall fondly shows with Flying and the Curtains, or Doveman and David Thomas Broughton. You should hire me because I know and have a deep reverence for all sorts of music that former record store clerks love to tell you are better than your favorite band. Comus, the Fire Show, Sandy Bull, Pylon, the Grifters, Karen Dalton…I could go on.

Upon Googling my name you will might find a couple of things…

1) A friend and I started a record label in college called Leisure Class, we haven’t put anything out in almost two years.
2) I am infrequent contributor to a collective wordpress blog called ‘ghost island’
3) My current day job is working as a librarian at an International School in Northern Italy

I hope that these are not reasons you would avoid hiring me.

All pretentions aside, this is an off the cuff list of my most played and most favorite albums from the last few decades

The Wrens-The Meadowlands
Unwound – Leaves Turn inside You
Fugazi – The Argument
Low – Things We Lost in the Fire
Neutral Milk Hotel – The Aeroplane over the Sea
The Dismemberment Plan – Emergency and I
Wilco – Being There
Pavement – Wowee Zowee
Beulah – When your Heartstrings Break
The Replacements – Let it Be
The Comsat Angels – Waiting on a Miracle
REM – Murmur
Big Star-Number 1 Record
Wire – Pink Flag
Pink Floyd – Piper at the Gates of Dawn
United States of America – s/t
Miles Davis – In a Silent Way

Guestions I have for you:

What are the job descriptions of the available positions?
What are the perks? Free albums/tickets?
Will Kurt Vile live up to the hype?
Who the fuck are Cymbals Eat Guitars?
If the current new wave of Times New Vikings is to the late 2000s as freakfolk was to the early 2000s, who is their Devendra? Their Joanna? Their Vashti? Their Sunburned Hand of the Man? In 5 years will their Devendra be dating real celebrities and have cameos in Michael Cera Movies?

All the best,
Dallas Foster


7 Responses to “If They Can Land a Man on the Moon, Surely I Can Win Your Heart”

  1. April 6, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    #1 Record !! / Let It Be

    I’d hire you

    Also: “Freeway” was on endless repeat last summer

  2. April 6, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    cymbals eat guitars are pants

    fuck kitchfork media

  3. 3 johuat
    April 6, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    Hey is this the end of the first age of the integration of music and the internet or what?

  4. 4 deweydecimal
    April 7, 2009 at 7:36 am

    @ johuat:

    I think a lot of music coverage has already turned off the cliff, into a new age, Cokemachineglow, Said the Gramaphone, Hipster Runoff, where writing about the music, and the music itself are just part of it. Sometimes a small part of it. With the ease that anyone can hear anything now, it sort of necessitates something new. I feel like even a few years ago when I started reading about music, that when I was in high school for example. I had to look a lot more and a lot harder for things, or to hear things. But maybe that’s just because I was new to it all.

  5. 5 Luckycloud
    April 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    I would hire you, too. Cokemachineglow are a bunch of jerks, though. They didn’t hire me. I think it’s because I called GhostIsland a “clusterfuck” and told them that I study a bunch of dead french media theorists for a grad degree. C’est la vie.

  6. 6 Luckycloud
    April 9, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Maybe I should apply at Dailyswarm, too. I had never heard of it. Not to steal your thunder or anything.

  7. 7 butttub
    April 13, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    i am late to the comment party, but um: i would not hire you. i would only hire 9 yr old girls and make them review harsh noise records. i would also hire dogs and animal psychic translators.

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