Suit Woven of Tongues
Though fashionable, this suit may be difficult to maintain. When stored, the suit must be kept in a climate-controlled environment with high humidity. When wearing your suit of woven tongues, keep a spray bottle in your briefcase and spritz yourself so the tongues don’t dry out. Don’t over-water though, or they’ll slobber the whole of your skin!
Of course, there are also advantages- the kissing practice, the beautiful dark-tongued piping, the rough taste buds that act as emory boards. You get smooth nails and limber lips with this suit! Girls love these attributes in a person and so do boys!
Wear this suit of woven tongues when you need a strong and well-muscled draping with a sleek European cut. This is a stylish and fitting suit with real Italian tongues from real Italian children! They were probably virgins, the children who bore these tongues, but who would know? These are such tender tongues!
This suit licks your date for you when you dance in the rain!
Wow.
This is, frankly, a little horrifying.